A dating advice question I get asked a lot by women is “Should you have sex on the 1st date? When is the best time to sleep with a guy? Is it bad for a woman to have sex with a guy on the first date?”.
Giving dating advice to women on when to have sex in one of the most tenuous things I have to do as a dating and relationships coach! Ultimately, every woman has to make her own decision about sex and when it is comfortable for her, but that doesn’t mean I can’t ensure she is making her decision for the right reasons in the most empowered way she possibly can.
For women, “when to have sex” is a big ticket topic. Advice like “Don’t give up the best part too soon!” or “He won’t respect you if you do!” comes constantly from every direction. Many of these people mean well, but that doesn’t mean they’re right. What we forget is, we all know couples who DID sleep together on the first date and formed a wonderful, loving relationship from doing so. So what’s the difference? Is there something deeper going on than just the timing of sex and what do men really think of a woman when she has sex with him on the first date?
When a woman comes to me saying “Mark, Should I have sex with a guy on the first date?” my first thought is “This woman is asking me a really serious question, so it’s important I help her respect and value herself in the best possible way to help show the man she likes the high value woman that she is”. Interestingly, this doesn’t necessarily mean NOT having sex on the first date, as most people would believe. What I need to help her look at is the reasons WHY she is having sex, and get this woman asking the right questions. Once she’s asking the right questions, I’ll be able to empower her to come up with an answer she’s happy with by herself. In fact, if I do my job correctly, this woman never has to ask “Is it bad to have sex on the first date” ever again.
In this dating advice video from Make Him Yours, I (Mark Rosenfeld, dating and relationship coach) am discussing Sex on the first date and how a woman should look to decide if she’s comfortable having sex on the first date. In it, I discuss the 2 major objections I hear from woman relating to the idea of sex on the first date, and give my thoughts on them, and how I think about them as a dating coach for women.
Sex on the first date and whether or not you should do it is not a simple, cut and dry question like many people believe. There are examples of happy couples everywhere with a range of different ‘sex timings’ proving that. You have to have sex on your terms, when it’s comfortable for you. Deciding when it’s comfortable for you however, should not come from the reaction you want from the man. If you’re having sex for reasons related to him, you’re having sex for the wrong reasons, and that’s something incredibly important to understand that I discuss in the video.
This dating and relationships advice video describes the exact mindset you need to think about whether sex on the 1st date is right for you. There’s a lot of theories out there relating to sex on the first date – and many of them come from a dis-empowering and shameful view as it relates to sex. If you want to be empowered to make the decision for yourself, this video about sex on the first date is for you. It really is my ultimate mindset guide to thinking about sex on the first date and a video I get every client of mine to watch and consider.